Bullying for All Ages

There is a lot of emphasis on teens being bashed for being gay, and having to deal with bullying. When I read these stories it reminds me of how many elderly gay men live in rural and suburban areas. We can not be ourselves for fear of repr...isal. We live in isolation and this leads to depression. And I'm sure it... goes unreported when older gay men commit suicide. It isn't considered as unusual or awful as a teenager doing so.

So when we think of bullying in our society it affects not only teenagers but the elderly. It may not be the same name-calling to our faces. But it can be through gossip and lies, and shunning in the community. If the heterosexism in the community means people fear anyone who's not heterosexual and raising a family, then this isolates gay men.

Where I live most of the older gay men are married and posing as straight. The ones who aren't mostly stay to themselves for fear of reprisal. They use the chat rooms for sex, which is dangerous for older gay men and can lead to violence and exploitation. If nothing else it does not lead to a healthy social community where gay men can feel they play a role in society.

Older gay men in the larger cities have options for social activity outside of the chat rooms and sex in the cruisy areas. But go beyond that in our society and it's the same bullying that attacks teenagers that keep older gay men alone and in fear. Sometimes it's the same bullies! You're not going to go out, be yourself, and then have to face a gang of homophobic teenager in a small town, or in the suburbs if you're sixty years old and unarmed.

So when we talk about dealing with bullies it's time we saw the total effect of this hatred. Yes, it damages teenagers, but it also damages the larger community, especially the elder gay men