Heterosexual kids get bullied in school too. They can be labeled "weird" for reading too much, looking different, not being interested in sports, or whatever. But what makes gay, lesbian and trans kids and adults commit suicide and ...turn to self destructive substance abuse at such a high rate?
If you're surrounded by social messages that leave little room for self expression, that alone can lead a person to depression. A gay, lesbian or trans person can't find any sanctuary to be themselves when the society is deeply entrenched in heterosexism. Add to this the bullying, and that is often the last straw.
So when talking to the community and schools I think it would be good to not only focus on bulllying, but also on heterosexism.
A prevailing attitude that everyone should be heterosexual is depressing when you're not heterosexual. I think the next step in gay, lesbian and trans human rights is to educate society that there are other paradigms of relationships.
Even within the gay, lesbian and trans community there is an assumption that we all want to get married, join the military and assimilate as much as possible.
But some people want to choose their own path. If they get no support because people immediately fear that anything different is a threat to the heterosexist norm, this leads to depression.
We must remember that not all relationships outside of this heterosexist norm are a threat. Creative differences can be benign, and even rewarding to a society. Diversity is a key element in all healthy environments and habitats.
Some people enjoy being alone, being creative, and would prefer to spend their life single. Some may want more than one partner. Some may want monogamy and marriage. I have known bisexual marriages that lasted for decades.
The standard heterosexist model in this society does not reflect the feelings of everyone. So, studying heterosexism and how that effects our social behavior, and how that leads to bullying, seems to me to be key to solving this problem.
If you just address bullying, and tell a principal, bullying is bad and it must stop you're missing half the story.
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The issues of bullying and hetersexism are valid points and need to be addressed. But allow me to add a third issue: just plain sexism.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just about the roles that society deems normal in relationships, but about the roles society deems normal in individual women and men.
There are many, especially in conservative areas like ours, who call for women to take on traditional female roles: submissive wife, mother, a profession that suits a woman like nursing or teaching. Men should be "manly men," playing sports like football, being the breadwinner, taking on manly professions like construction workers, or money making professions like doctors. And if that suits you, great! But don't try to force that on everyone else.
I am straight, but as a divorced woman who is childless by choice, who does math for a living (women aren't supposed to be good at that, right?) and who supports herself, I am hardly a stereotypical, traditional female.
School boys who are too effemiminate and girls who are too butch, past the age where being a tomboy is cool, are bullied for being outside the traditional "norms."
Students need to be taught that, not only is bullying bad, but that there is nothing to fear in diversity. Our differences are what make us interesting.